Just Another Multi-Writer Cascade that will Probably Never Have an Ending #1

Net.ropolis —

It all started in the LNH lobby around the time that Self-Righteous Preacher was yelling at Bad Timing Boy. Self-Righteous Preacher and his congregation of followers had just left one of the LNH's assembly rooms and were making there way to the lobby to have some refreshments. And around that same time Bad Timing Boy walked into the lobby too. One of Self-Righteous Preacher's followers — a very old lady — looked at Bad Timing Boy's T-shirt and foolishly read the words on the it. The words on Bad Timing Boy's 'God is Freaking Lame!' T-shirt. The very old lady was very shocked by these words and passed out.

This led to Self-Righteous Preacher giving Bad Timing Boy a very long rage filled lecture about how God was NOT Freaking Lame as well as how Bad Timing Boy should read the Bible so he didn't spend an eternity burning in Hell. The various followers of the Preacher all gave Bad Timing Boy very dirty looks as if he was the Anti-Christ. As the Preacher continued preaching — Bad Timing Boy thought to himself, Boy, I really, really should have picked a different shirt to wear today!

And as this happened, a burst of purple lightning crackled its way into existence in the center of the lobby. And a woman emerged from the purple lightning. A woman with white hair and a white eyepatch covering her left eye. "It worked! I made it!" she said scanning the world around her. And then she spotted the Self-Righteous Preacher. And she rushed towards him and gave him a big hug. "It's you! You're alive! I never thought I'd see you..."

Self-Righteous Preacher wrenched himself free the strange woman. "How dare you! How dare you try to engage me into some kind of premarital huggery! Me — a man of the cloth!!" The Preacher pulled out a cross and used it to ward off the woman. "And wearing that! Have you no shame young lady! Exposing your naked belly button for all the world to see!! What would your parents think of that outfit! Shameful! Very shameful!!"

"Oh!" said Non-Judgmental Agnostic glancing at the white midriff shirt she was wearing. She quickly covered her belly button with one of her hands. "I didn't realize that exposing your belly button was taboo in this era! Guess I should have done some research! Sorry about this. I'm from the Future."

Self-Righteous Preacher sniffed his nose with disgust. "No excuse! Read the Bible!!" He handed her a Bible.

"Oh, thanks!" she said with a very grateful expression on her face. "I'll be sure to do that!" She looked at the Preacher. Part of her wanted so badly to tell him that she was his daughter. But she knew she couldn't do that. That wasn't why she was here. Besides considering the insane method that had brought her into existence — how the Preacher was actually her mother and WikiBoy was her father due to some LNH prank that made WikiBoy a Holy Spirit who had impregnated the Preacher — she was pretty sure he wouldn't want to know those details. [See JONG #69 for more about that — Ed.]

No, she had another mission here. But what was it? Her mind was still cloudy from the time jump. Contraption Man had told her one of the side effects of time travel might be memory loss. This was no good. By the time she remembered it might be too late to stop whatever she was trying to stop. Maybe one of the LNH scientists in this era could help her remember.


The LNH Coma Ward —

In one of the many beds of the LNH Coma Ward, a man slept away. He had been sleeping for a long time. Ever since 1994. He had been a superhero — an LNH'r. It had been the night after the Valentine's Day Ball. He was having trouble sleeping and was looking for a snack to eat. But something strange was happening. All of the LNH'rs seemed to be in a drugged state. As the hero investigated what had happened, he discovered vacuum cleaner talking to one of the monitor screens. It was some kind of a plot to destroy the LNH. The hero tried to stop the vacuum cleaner before it could do whatever it was trying to do and there was a big battle. And then there was blackness. And then it was 20 years later.

The hero's eyes opened. The hero named Foreshadowing Lad.

And beneath his bed a crack began to form.


Elsewhere —
An underground bunker —

Men in camouflage outfits gazed into computers spewing out all kinds of data. A number of computers began to beep. "It's another one!"

"God. Not again," said a man who appeared to be the commander of the group. His name was Reed Reedly, and he was the head of this LNH-Readers-Who-Are-Sick-To-Death-With-These-Damn-Neverending-Events Liberation Front cell. "Don't these damn Writers know that RACC can't handle another Multi-Writer Cascade?! Don't they?!! There are just too many unfinished ones!!" He looked at one of the images on the screen that showed the effects this new cascade would have on RACC. Cracks were beginning to form on RACC as the weight of all of the unfinished cascades were beginning to take their toll. "It's going to cause it to break!! RACC's going to break in half!!!!"

"What's that mean for us?" asked a man next to him.

"It means that since the Looniverse is the center of RACC — it's going to break in half. And since the Loonivearth is the center of the Looniverse — that's also going to break in half. And since Net.ropolis is the Center of the Loonivearth — you guessed it. It looks like the LNHHQ will probably be the point where the cracks begin to appear."

"But this thing — it's still a Category Single Author work — right?! As long as no one writes an issue two to this — we'll still be safe, right?"

Reed Reedly nodded. "That's true. Hopefully, for the sake of RACC every RACC Writer will completely ignore this cascade and there won't be an issue two! Hopefully!!"


NEXT: Will all the Writers on RACC ignore this cascade so that it won't cause RACC to break in half?



Self-Righteous Preacher — wReam
Bad Timing Boy — Vernon H. Harmon
Non-Judgmental Agnostic and Foreshadowing Lad — Arthur Spitzer
WikiBoy — Tom Russell
Contraption Man — Drizzt

Writer's Notes: Feel free to write the second issue of this if you want. Hahahahaha!

Non-Judgmental Agnostic and Foreshadowing Lad are Free for Use.

Arthur "Hahahah!" Spitzer

Classic Legion of Net.Heroes Just Another Multi-Writer Cascade That Will Probably Never Have an Ending #2 >