Kid Enthusiastic ran out from backstage, flailing his arms, and shouted, "It's the RACCies! With special guest presenter Pointless Awards Mom!"

             o  o  o  o  o  o  o
      o  o  o     The  2008     o  o  o
o  o  o  o  o   (15th Annual)   o  o  o  o  o
      o  o  o   RACCie AWARDS   o  o  o
             o  o  o  o  o  o  o

"It's time to read the newsgroup,
  It's time to have a fight,
  It's time to—" BLAM

"Oh my god!" shouted Thunderclap. "Pointless Awards Mom has been shot!"

"What, again?" groused Mouse.

"This year, we're prepared," stated Fearless Leader, as the guest star was taken away on a cyberstretcher. "activate the backup!"

Cerulean energy blurred midstage, and a blue, glowing version of Pointless Awards Man appeared. "Emergency Awards Hologram activated. Please state the nature of the awarding emergency."

"All right, everyone, back to your places..."

The Emergency Awards Hologram shuddered, and suddenly took on a winning smile. The Easily-Discovered Band struck up a rousing tune. "Welcome, friends, enemies, and innocent, disposable bystanders! Yes, it's the 2008 RACCies, where the elite meet and bleat about wheat! Here she is, Miss Rec.arts.comics.creative! A thousand elephants! And now, to rip off Hugh Jackman—" BLAM

"Oh, Kirby damn it."

The hologram was stretchered away, and Fearless Leader stepped up to the stage. "Well, it looks like I'm going to be emceeing this year. First up are— um, yes?"

Peregryn stood up. "Are you the pre-Beige Midnight Fearless Leader or the post-Beige Midnight Fearless Leader?"

"I'm the 'the author hasn't read Beige Midnight yet' Fearless Leader."

"Fair enough."

"As I was saying, first up are the Discretionary Awards, which will be presented by Jolt City's premiere sidekick, the Blue Boxer."

The crowd cheered as the person who's really Derek Mason but we're not supposed to know that rode in on a unicycle. "Thanks, everyone. This is the night where the stars come out, and ever since my fight with Mecha-Pol Pot, I've been seeing stars! Hey-o!"

Crickets.

"...fire that stupid joke writer... Anyway, our first award of the night is the 'FLICKERING FLAME OF CIVILIZATION' ROMAN CANDLE AWARD, for doing thankless adminstrative tasks for years on end, goes to Russ 'Eagle' Allbery!"

A dazzling spray of sparks flew into the air, along with a precog for Birds Fly #4.

"Next is the 'JUST FORTY-SEVEN CENTS A DAY' AWARD for contributing any way you can, which goes to Mitchell 'Tarq' Crouch for Hymenoptera!"

A swarm of Monarchs (and a single Viceroy) were released, flying out the skylight. (Why there's a skylight above the stage, we don't know.)

"And finally, the GOLDEN SPOON for stirring up conversation in threads goes to Martin Phipps!"

Cheesecake-Eater Lad came out. A giant pot of words rose from the floor, and he stuck the spoon into it, stirring around. He pulled it out, and a beautiful woven rug was inside.

"And that's all from me. Don't phreak out, ladies and gents!" Not!Derek rolled off.

Fearless Leader stepped up. "And now, for the regular Named Awards, which will be presented by the Unfinished Sentence-Verse's Hank Rancherson!"

There were peals of applause as an intellectual-looking man holding a teddy bear came up and adjusted the microphone. "Thank you, Fearless Leader. You know, ever since my head was shot off by a giant robot, I've

He stopped, staring into space. Fearless Leader blinked, then poked him.

"...oh! Sorry about that. As I was saying..."

"First up is the RABBIT-BREEDER'S CUP, for the most prolific writer in this or any amateur fiction forum! The finalists are..."

"Dave Van Domelen!" (Brightsword fights radioactive penguins)

"Martin Phipps!" (Eri Takahashi and Haruto Nakamura examine a set of giant footprints)

"And Lalo Martins!" (An epic battle between the Evilverse Legion and the Crime Empire)

"And the winner is

poke

"Lalo!" Several dead members of the New Misfits came up to accept, and Locked Room noted, "I only appear in a single continuity-implant series, yet thanks to our writer's ridiculous posting rate, it's like I'm a five-twenty-three part of history!"

"Next," continued Hank, "is the JOHNNY SOKKO "COME BACK, GIANT ROBOT, COME BACK" LOVING CUP, for the RACCer who's most sorely missed! The finalists are..."

"Ben Rawluk!" (The League of Heroes fly past)

"Hubert Bartels!" (Bishoujo Sailor Senshi Panta poses)

"Jeff McCoskey!" (Scenes from past RACCies play out)

"Jessica 'Jaelle' Ihimaera-Smiler!" (Drabble Girl battles Verbiage Lass)

"Matt 'Badger' Rossi!" (Tempest fights alongside the Harrakin)

"And Raymond 'wReam' Bingham!" (All kinds of crazy awesome stuff happens)

"And the winner is... Jaelle!" A wind whipped up on the stage as Jonathan Connery somehow landed a helicopter there. He picked up the award, raised one eyebrow, and left.

"Finally, we come to THE "SPIDER SPINS!" LITTLE LULU WEB PAGE AWARD, for our favorite RACC-related web page! The finalists are..."

"Wil's Ego!" (A pan across a field made up of issues of RACC series, each with a really cool cover) (http://www.wilsego.com/racc/ flashes at the bottom of the screen)

"The Eyrie!" (A steam-powered archiving robot picks up the issues from the last clip and files them neatly) (http://www.eyrie.org/ flashes at the bottom of the screen)

"And the LNH Wiki!" (FAQ Boy and Roster King dissolve into data) (http://www.lnhq.info/wiki/Main_Page flashes at the bottom of the screen)

"And the winner is... the LNH Wiki!" Grand applause.... that died down as nobody stepped up to take the trophy. Finally, Wikiboy scooted up, bowed, took it, and scooted back.

"Well, there you are." Hank dusted off his hands, and

"...that's odd, I could have sworn he was here a moment ago." Fearless Leader shrugged. "Our next presenter comes from Artifice Comics. Ladies and gentlemen, Johann Weisz!"

Weisz strolled up, waving lazily to the crowd's acclaim. He took the cigarette out of his mouth and dropped it on the stage, stubbing it out with his foot. "Thank y'all. Now, I'm not a speechmaker... so let's get to it."

"The first award is RACC19, FAVORITE NEW TITLE, and the nominees are... what, really? There's only one? You didn't even consider Post Modern? Fuckers. Anyway, the winner is First Person Shooter Man!"

A thoomp was heard, and Will(iam O.) Smith rocketjumped past the the stage, grabbing the award before he crashed into the wings.

"...huh. Well, the next award is RACC18, FAVORITE NEW WRITER, and... oh, come on, you guys. Only one new writer? Advertise or something, I don't know. I need the royalties, dammit. Oh, and the winner is Nicholas O'Connor."

William stumbled back out and picked up the trophy before falling into the orchestra pit.

"Sigh. All right, RACC17, MOST IMPROVED AUTHOR. Finally, a category with more than one person in it. Of course, most of you could use improvement, eh?" He ducks the tomatoes, bottles, and spleens. "Heh heh heh. The nominees are..."

"Mitchell 'Tarq' Crouch!" (Possum-Man enrolls in elementary school)

"Lalo Martins!" (Amazing Amazon bursts into awesomeness)

"Martin Phipps!" (A crowd holds up signs for and against Extreme)

"Arthur Spitzer!" (Girls relax on beach blankets, sipping eggnog and reading James Joyce)

"And Tom Russell!" (The Department of Award Show Cameos makes a point)

"And the winner is... Tarq!" The Reborn Undead Vampire Zombie Jascha Heifetz came up, took the award, waved to the crowd, passed it off to a shark wearing a Santa hat, and departed.

Weisz shakes his head. "I have to get out of this business. And, finally, there's RACC16, FAVORITE RUNNING GAG. The nominees are..."

"Dave van Domelen's use of Rush albums as ASH issue titles!" (Solar Max rolls the bones with the counterpart of his echo)

"People protesting in-story about the lateness of Beige Midnight!" (The LNH-Readers-Who-Are-Sick-To-Death-With-These-Damn-Neverending-Events Liberation Front shout "Rhubarb!")

"And 'Mr. Paprika: Now that's a man's pop!'" (A montage of Mr. Paprika scenes throughout LNH history)

"And the winner is... people protesting in-story about the lateness of Beige Midnight!" Kid Not Appearing In Any Beige Midnight Story flew in, gave a Nixon-esque victory sign, took the award, and left.

"Aaaaand I'm outta here." Weisz tossed the torn envelopes on the floor and exited stage right.

As Squeaky Clean worked doubletime behind him, Fearless Leader took the mike. "Our next presenter needs... a lot of introduction, actually. I've never heard of this guy."

Offscreen, a voice shouted, "Hey, I was one of the main characters in Bride of C'thulhu!"

"...right. So, anyway, please welcome Dualist Lad!"

A young man in a half-silver, half-gold outfit came on, mumbling, "Bride of C'thulhu, y'know, one of the classic LNH cascades... ahem. Greetings to everyone out there in the audience and those watching live on RACCCast around the world! Let's RACCie up!"

While the crowd was still muttering in confusion, Dualist Lad continued. "This award is one that's gained a bit of class this year. The finalists for RACC15, BEST DISCUSSION, are..."

"The Problem With Dialogue!" (Captain Continuity speaks with the voice of The Tick)

"The Problem of Fourth Wall Breaking!" (Fourth Wall Lass battles the Fourth Wallower)

"And Writer's Block and Crazy-Ass Ideas!" (A writer with writer's block writes about a writer with writer's block writing about a writer with writer's block writing about Batman checking his Facebook)

"And the winner is... Writer's Block and Crazy-Ass Ideas!" Writers Block Woman, drawn in a Kirby-esque style, appears, takes the award, and tosses it up into the air, where it disappears.

"Well, that was RACCtacular! RACCnificent! RACC-urghle" Dualist Lad shook, and in a flash, split into two, one wearing a fully-gold version of the outfit, the other fully-silver.

"C'mon, man," said the silver one. "What is this?"

"Hey, I can't help it if our RACClicious patter is ahead of the curve," replied the gold one.

"...no."

"But I—"

"No."

"But it's—"

"No!"

"RACC—"

"NO!" There was a shudder, a flash and they were merged again.

"...while I get my head together, why don't I present the next award. The finalists for RACC" twitch "14, FAVORITE PERSON WHO HANGS OUT ON RACC" twitch "are..."

"Arthur Spitzer!" (Pan across the art of the LNH Webcomic)

"Rob Rogers!" (Easily-Discovered Man Lite points at a blackboard, upon which is written phrases like "Spider-Man 3 -> Wormwood" and "Captain Jack is the Whore of Babylon")

"And Tom Russell!" (A convention booth with copies of the Jolt City collection; Darkhorse is in a wheelchair signing autographs)

"And the winner is... Tom Russell!" The Nostalgics come up and cheer; Jason Righteous narrates, but he can't be heard.

"That didn't go too badly! See? I can do this. Totally."



"...right, next award. It's RACC13, FAVORITE STORY UNIVERSE, and the finalists are..."

"8FOLD!" (Tuck and Gem stand on opposite sides of a mirror)

"LNH!" (Hexadecimal Luthor caresses a globe menacingly)

"And ASH!" (The sun is a mass of incandescent gas... and EVIL!)

"And the winner is... the LNH!" Fearless Leader steps forward to accept, but Ultimate Ninja (seemingly wearing fishing gear) flashes past and snatches it.

"All right, big finish!" Dualist Lad flash-separates again, and while the gold one steps to the side, the silver one takes the mike. "Dual Silver, presenting RACC12, FAVORITE REVIEW TITLE! The finalists are..."

"End-Of-Month Reviews!" (A calendar with "Review Day" written on the 1st, crossed out, written on the 7th, crossed out, and written on the 20th and circled)

"And Russell's Reviews!" (Nested asides dance in glorious parentheticality)

"And the winner is... End-Of-Month Reviews!" Limp-Asparagus Lad comes up, bearing all of Saxon's previous awards on his ridiculously-enhanced physique, and collects it.

Dual Silver steps back, and the other comes forward. "Dual Gold, presenting RACC11, FAVORITE ACRAPHOBE/ADULT OFFERING! The finalists are..."

"New Exarchs!" (A lineup of Kat, Kopikat, and Robot Girl)

"And Jolt City!" (A lineup of the Green Knight, The Mask With No Name, and Acro-Bat)

"And the winner, by a single point, is... New Exarchs!" A dizzying array of squirrels burst through the floorboards and grab the award before scurrying off in every direction.

"And that..." "...is that." One more flash, and Dualist Lad bows, waves to the cameras, and leaves.

"Well," said Fearless Leader, "that was... not a fiasco! Excellent. And now, we take you to outside, to our roving correspondent Paisley Parker!"

"Thanks, FL!"

"Earlier in the evening, we gave out the awards for the RACC Hall of Fame in a private ceremony. The winners were:"

"HALL OF FAME 8: FAVORITE CONTRIBUTOR: A four-way tie between Tom Russell, Martin Phipps, Rob Rogers, and wReam!"

"HALL OF FAME 7: FAVORITE CROSSOVER: A two-way tie between the nameless crossover in Constellation #18-19 (LNH) & Machine #10-12 (PATROL) and the NTB crossover Wrath of the Administrator!"

"HALL OF FAME 6: FAVORITE CHARACTER: The NTB's Jellomancer!"

"HALL OF FAME 5: FAVORITE SINGLE ISSUE: A three-way tie between Legion of Occult Heroes #4, Limp-Asparagus Lad #55, and Refugees of Net.ropolis #5!"

"HALL OF FAME 4: FAVORITE ARC: A four-way tie between the BloodKitty Saga (Tales of the LNH #291-299), the Robot Invasion arc of Constellation (Constellation #21-24), Infinite Leadership Crisis (LNH Comics Presents #35-502), and X-Post Facto ((Dvandom Force #46-48)!"

"HALL OF FAME 3: FAVORITE MINI-SERIES: A two-way tie between Cauliflower, the Christmas Miracle Pooch and Retcon Midnight!"

"HALL OF FAME 2: FAVORITE SERIES: A three-way tie between Legion of Occult Heroes, LNH Triple Play, and Dvandom Force!"

"And finally, HALL OF FAME 1: FAVORITE WRITER: A three-way tie between Paul Hardy, Jessica 'Jaelle' Ihimaera-Smiler, and Jennifer 'Mistlock' Whitson!"

"Back to you, Fearless Leader!"

"Thanks a lot, Paisley. Our next presenter comes from beyond the net.worlds we know. The servant of the Source Code, the Ultimate Request, the Schizmator, ReFoDis the RACelestial!"

A pair of absolutely enormous feet come out of the ceiling and hover just above the stage. A feeling washes over the gathered crowd, a feeling of pride in how this humble newsgroup has developed.

«THE FATE OF RACC10, FAVORITE PARODY/COMEDY, HAS BEEN DECIDED. THE CHOICES:»

«POSSUM MAN» (Sticks Tarqchevskison trips on his shoelaces and crashes into a handy pile of cardboard boxes)

«LEGION OF NET.HEROES VOLUME 2» (Senses Lass juggles glowing balls, containing apes, ninjas, and dark foreboding)

«ONE HAS BEEN CHOSEN: LEGION OF NET.HEROES VOLUME 2»

Cyril King comes up. "Friends, ROM.ans, countrymen; from the depths of my inner being, I thank you. Peace out, motherf@%#ers!" He leaves.

«THE FATE OF RACC9, FAVORITE NEW CHARACTER, HAS BEEN DECIDED. THE CHOICES:»

«TWITTER» (A blur of motion streaks back and forth inside an LNH flight.thingee; Anal-Retentive Archive Kid holds his head in his hands)

«FIRST PERSON SHOOTER MAN» (Cannon Fodder gets telefragged)

«ONE HAS BEEN CHOSEN: TWITTER»

A glittering rush sped to the microphone. "@Everybody: Thanks a lot!" A twinkle and she was gone.

«THE FATE OF RACC8, FAVORITE SUPPORTING CHARACTER, HAS BEEN DECIDED. THE CHOICES:»

«RIPPING DANCER» (Ripping Dancer looks at a photo of herself crucified and raises an eyebrow)

«WIKIBOY» (Wikiboy jumps up and down on one foot with eight pieces of gum on his face singing the "I'm Just Me" song)

«DEREK MASON» (Crap falls on him from a great height)

«ONE HAS BEEN CHOSEN: WIKIBOY»

Wikiboy walks up. "I'd make a speech, but my editors inform me that fiction communities on the Internet aren't notable, so..." He shrugs and walks off.

«THE FATE OF RACC7, FAVORITE VILLAIN/ANTAGONIST, HAS BEEN DECIDED. THE CHOICES:»

«DEREK RADNER» (A flowery, pink diary is crushed by an iron fist)

«HEX LUTHOR» (Yet more globe-caressing; he really seems to be getting into it)

«THREAD BEAR» (Ripping Dancer is entangled in a spider's web with spools at the edges)

«ONE HAS BEEN CHOSEN: HEX LUTHOR»

Hex enters, stage left, and says, "Thank you all for your completely non-mind-controlled votes! Here's to four more years!" Suddenly, Bicycle Repair Lad jumps him from the rafters, and they exit, stage right, in a ball of dust and fists.

«THE FATE OF RACC6, FAVORITE HERO/PROTAGONIST, HAS BEEN DECIDED. THE CHOICES:»

«RIPPING DANCER» (In a tango with You're-Not-Hitting-Me-Hard-Enough Lad)

«DOCTOR DEVELOPER» (Hanging up Christmas lights with Lady Lawful)

«FEARLESS LEADER» (Waking up from where he's napping backstage, looking around frantically)

«ONE HAS BEEN CHOSEN: RIPPING DANCER»

Ripping Dancer pirouettes in... but the curtains collapse on her. She rips her way out, breathing heavily, grabs the award, and stalks out.

«EACH OF YOU WILL DEFINE THE FUTURE. CHOOSE WISELY.» ReFoDis lifts off, and Fearless Leader comes out, stretching and yawning.

"Mmm. And so, we come to the climax of the night, the final five. Presenter for these will be none other than Hercule Poirot. ...wait, what!?"

A short, balding man with a well-trimmed moustache walked out, opened his mouth, and—

"No, wait, no, this is no good," said Fearless Leader. "We can't use copyrighted characters!"

"Did someone say copyright?" A wavering portal opened in the air, and Copyright Kid and Trademark Lass leapt out.

"The writer's trying to put— that guy, I don't even want to say the name, in a RACC story. It's just not allowed."

"Hmmmmm..." Copyright Kid waved a scan.thingee at the Belgian. "That's odd, he's giving off public domain radiation."

"Here we go," said Trademark Lass, holding up a novel. "The Mysterious Affair at Styles, published 1920. His first appearance, and it's out of copyright."

"But aren't the rest of his books still under copyright?"

"Technically, you could use the version established in this book, without referring to details from later works."

"That's a technicality I'm not sure I want to depend on."

"Don't forget trademark issues."

"Hmmmmm..." They moved into a huddle, whispering.

Fearless Leader stepped back up. "As I was saying, the presenter for the final five awards will be none other than... C. Auguste Dupin!"

The master of ratiocination entered. "Thank you, Mssr. F––– L––––. We may as well get on with this, eh?"

"I have fashioned my intellect in the shape of the mass, such as can be found within an assemblage of poets and workers of serial form. In this way, I identified the solution to RACC5, FAVORITE SINGLE ISSUE. You see, there were only three possibilities, among these..."

"Beige Countdown #5." (The flying ball of fists, and a globe rolls by)

"Derek Radner's Private Journal #2." (Philosophical perspectives on the nature of evil, interspersed with "Derek Taylor" written repeatedly in glittery purple ink)

"And Beige Countdown #10." (Also Sprach Zarathustra plays as the sun comes up over a giant kiwi (the fruit, not the bird))

"It was a simple matter, thus, to see which would excite the emotions. In the end, it could only be Beige Countdown #10."

Girlwatcher came up. "Ahem," he said. "My stars, they're full of gods."

He left.

"A mathematician would call it meaningless, a logician would call it a null statement, yet, there it is," noted Dupin. "Torvalds noted that there are three states of technology; survival, social order, and entertainment. Our subject tonight is the last of these; but for RACC4, FAVORITE ARC, it was the first."

"The lady, that is, Jolt City's 'The Sensational Character Find of 2007'..." (Derek and Martin have an '80s training montage)

"...or the tiger, issues #1-3 of Beige Midnight, also known as 'Imperium Hex'." (That damn globe again!)

"Sadly, unlike that classic tale, ours has a simple ending; the cat is out of the box. Imperium Hex."

The rolling ball of Hex Luthor and Bicycle Repair Lad rolled to a halt in front of the podium. Hex wearily picked up the award, attempted to hit BRL on the head with it, and flopped over.

"Such a man could not have failed to anticipate the ordinary; it was the extraordinary that did him in. So it is with RACC3, FAVORITE MINI-SERIES. As a speeding train crashes in flame, so did these speed through their days and gutter out. Study well these cases:"

"Beige Countdown." (A clock, five minutes to midnight.)

"Beige Midnight." (The clock in flames, curling up like a piece of paper.)

"Silver-Age Superfreaks." (Buster Keaton, hanging from the above.)

"In the end, a flicker still burned, and in the end, Beige Midnight wins."

The award fell off the podium and conked the almost-risen Bicycle Repair Lad, who flopped back.

"Monstrum horrendum, an unprincipled man of genius. Would I say, then, that there is no hope? Indeed not. It is simply that we must exercise the little grey—"

A cough came from backstage.

"—the little grey hamsters on the wheels of our brains," Dupin smoothly segued. "RACC2, FAVORITE ONGOING SERIES, did just that. A man who would succeed does not necessarily need to strive; he simply needs to put the right piece in the right place. Three pieces might have fit in the puzzle..."

"...Legion of Net.Heroes, Volume 2..." (A grave with a headstone labeled 'Idiot')

"...ASH..." (JakZak parachutes onto Hitler)

"...and Jolt City..." (Abner Schrebel launches into a vaudeville act, only to get pulled offstage by a giant hook)

"...and yet, only one of them actually did. There was a hole remaining shaped like Jolt City."

Dani Handler and Pam Bierce come in from opposite sides of the stage, kicking and punching guards (who weren't there five minutes ago). They meet up in the middle, both grab the award, and they grappling-hook out through the skylight (seriously, why is that thing up there!?).

"And thus, we come to the final award. Have you guessed the ending yet? Of course not, I haven't told you the clues. That would just be ridiculous."

"The other day, the anonymous narrator and I were sitting in the drawing room, and I brought up the subject of RACC1, FAVORITE WRITER. I challenged him to guess who had won out of these candidates:"

"Tom Russell." (Haiku Gorilla sits in a drawing room with Jane)

"Arthur Spitzer." (Slobbering Grue sits in a drawing room with Anti-Christ Lad)

"Dave Van Domelen." (Constellation sits in a drawing room with Sig.Lad)

"And Rob Rogers." (Substitute Lad sits in a drawing room with Apocalypso)

"Why," he asked, "was it Dave?" "No," I replied. "Could it be Tom?" "Certainly not." "Perhaps Arthur?" "So close." "Then it must be Rob!" "And yet it isn't."

"We went around this way for about ten minutes, and he stopped, hand to head, and asked me to quit screwing around and just tell him. 'Your mind was set on a single forest path; you could not see what was beyond the next tree,' I said. 'No, seriously, who was it?' he said."

"Quite simply, t'was a tie. Both Rob Rogers and Tom Russell win!"

The stage draws back, to reveal a huge flight of stairs, and at the top, Rob and Tom stand. Tom is in a suit with gloves and top hat, while Rob wears a fetching dress with a big straw hat.

[To the tune of "I Remember It Well", from Gigi]

Tom: In two thousand nine...

Rob: Two thousand eight!

Tom: We posted green...

Rob: I posted beige.

Tom: Ah, yes... I RACCmember it well.

Rob: Alternate world...

Tom: A future time...

Rob: A giant robot...

Tom: Covered in slime.

Rob: Ah, yes! I RACCmember it well.

Tom: That infinite April crisis!

Rob: It's over now,
       and the world's in phthisis!

Tom (spoken): What?

Rob (spoken): A disease characterized by wasting away or atrophy.

Tom (spoken): Oh, okay.
       (singing): It warms my heart to know that you
                    Retconned it off, the way you do

Rob: Yes, yes. I RACCmember it well...

Tom: How I've often thought of that Earth-2      Rob: Earth-3!
        saga,
        Where we discovered they were all clones.
        It seems the story bankrupted them
        They only survived with high-APR loans!

Rob: That kinky night.

Tom: No, it was doomed.

Rob: That zombie fight!

Tom: A mummy's tomb.

Rob: Oh, yes! I RACCmember it well!

Tom: Read through email!

Rob: Or on the web!

Tom: Telnet or gopher!

Rob: That's at... an ebb.

Tom: Oh, right. I RACCmember it well.

Rob: World-crushing cellular slime mold!

Tom: It was a great gray kangaroo.

Rob: Am I getting old?

Tom: Oh no! Not you!
        How funny you are,
        Not one cliche,
        An online poet in every way.

Rob: Ah, yes! I RACCmember it well.

Both take a bow, and 1930s can-can girls come out and dance. Fearless Leader walks up.

"That's our show, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you all for coming, drive safely, and Kirby bless."

.....oooooOOOOO(☆)OOOOOooooo.....

15th Annual RACCie Winners:

RACC1, Favorite Writer: Rob Rogers and Tom Russell (tie)

RACC2, Favorite Ongoing Series: Jolt City

RACC3, Favorite Mini-Series: Beige Midnight

RACC4, Favorite Arc: "Imperium Hex," Beige Midnight #1-3

RACC5, Favorite Single Issue: Beige Countdown #10

RACC6, Favorite Hero/Protagonist: Ripping Dancer

RACC7, Favorite Villain/Antagonist: Hex Luthor

RACC8, Favorite Supporting Character: Wikiboy

RACC9, Favorite New Character: Twitter

RACC10, Favorite Parody/Comedy: Legion of Net.Heroes Vol. 2

RACC11, Favorite Acraphobe/Adult Offering: New Exarchs

RACC12, Favorite Review Title: End of Month Reviews

RACC13, Favorite Story Universe: Legion of Net.Heroes

RACC14, Favorite Person Who Hangs Out On RACC: Tom Russell

RACC15, Best Discussion: "Writer's Block and Crazy-Ass Ideas"

RACC16, Favorite Running Gag: People protesting in-story about the lateness of Beige Midnight

RACC17, Most Improved Author: Mitchell "Tarq" Crouch

RACC18, Favorite New Writer: Nicholas O'Conner

RACC19, Favorite New Title: First Person Shooter Man

The Rabbit Breeder's Cup: Lalo Martins

The Johnny Sokko "Come Back, Giant Robot, Come Back" Loving Cup: Jessica Ihimaera-Smiler

The Image Testimonial Timepiece (Batteries Not Included): Arthur Spitzer

The "Spider Spins!" Little Lulu Web Page Award: The LNH Wiki

.....oooooOOOOO(☆)OOOOOooooo.....

By the way, I apologize for not getting in any Transparent Comics or PSP, and having the Pinnacle City be limited to a Thunderclap cameo. I also apologize if I mischaracterized any of the characters I did use.

One thing I learned is that the person who does the RACCies should really have been, y'know, reading the newsgroup during the period in question. I'll definitely apply that next year! Woo!

Oh, and "phthsis" is pronounced "tie-sis". Score one for Magic: The Gathering.

Andrew "NO .SIG MAN" "Juan" Perron, now to work on Digital Jump! #12.

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